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The pleasure centre in my pre-frontal cortex is flashing like Blackpool illuminations. More than a million Britons subscribe to these sites; maritalaffair. The bottom line seems to be that whatever your morality or religion, profession or hobby, there is a dating website out there for you. But while the social stigma of online dating has long vanished, Intetnetdatingwe dangers ocm remain. This week has thrown up a salutary tale, namely the shocking assault and rape of a year-old woman by a man she had met on the general dating website PlentyofFish.
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So is it reasonable to blame the medium wholesale? According to Brett Harding, founder and managing director of Lovestruck. Most of our members work in the City of London and we cross-reference the personal details that prospective members give us with social networking sites such as Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter, so we know they are who they say they are. The signs are that niche dating is the future.
For the simple reason that flirting is fun. We are hardwired to feel flattered and the anonymity makes it easier to generate a sense of intimacy that may be wholly at odds with reality. But that can lead to dissonant expectations; women regard online chit-chat as wooing and revel in the heady feeling of being pursued. A lot of men online are narcissists who suck the life force from women and use them.
Stories of more comical mismatches are also legion; the sexy blonde who turns out to be a man not even a man dressed as a womanthe silver fox who is nearer 80 than 50, the misfit who sounded nicely quirky online, but arrives carrying too many plastic bags and refuses to make eye contact. It was insane; we ended up eating ice lollies on a park bench. Checking out other people via a webcam is also becoming more widespread and GPS technology can alert you to suitable mates nearby. There is, it appears, no end to how the search for love, sex or just an internet dalliance can be outsourced.
At Pen My Profile, a team of writers will write profiles for those too busy or tongue-tied to do it themselves. I had whittled down the field to the cleverest, best-read correspondent. It never occurred to me that he might slit my throat and toss my body into a dumpster. He was tall and rangy with very fetching dark stubble and lived in East Anglia with Mrs Piers and little Piers and said I should call him Dominic. I insisted he continue calling me Madame Bovary, the online identity I had chosen for myself.
Had I met him at a networking event, I would have happily flirted outrageously with him until closing time. Afterwards, I emailed to say I could tell there was a complete mutual absence of chemistry. He disagreed just enough to boost my ego Ping! Those treacherous fairy lights went on again. Then I closed my account. What did I learn from my journey into the heart of extra-marital darkness?
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